Author: Kiarene

Published: 6th May 2003

Warnings: squick

Pairings: Various

Disclaimers: DBZ is not mine

 

 

Part 1 Chikuyyu Milk

A/N: A spin-off from Seraphas Eye of the Tiger, and Jadys subsequent Nappa-Oozaru and Shenlong romance Bit of background: Nappa came back from Hell as an Oozaru to court Shenlong. Vegeta is the panther, Goku the tiger.

 

A couple of large cats ran along the forest floor. A brawny tiger in vibrant striped amber and black, and a sleek panther with a velvet coat of gleaming midnight. The full moon hung low in the sky and the thinnest sliver of warm yellow lined the western horizon. Dawn was approaching.

 

//A good hunt last night.// The panther smirked slyly.

 

The tigers tail twitched, his lope slightly off-canter. //I got distracted!//

 

//Oh?// The panther sidled closer, never breaking the easy stride as he nipped the other dominatingly. Flanks brushed occasionally, sending little shivers of pleasure along undulating spines. //I wonder why//

 

//I didnt mean that, Vegeta!// The tiger growled. //Didnt you hear or smell anything odd last night? Roaring and snarling and squeaking and odd scraping noises?//

 

The panther lifted his nuzzle and sniffed the air. //Now that you mentioned it, I thought it was just the residue on us but there does seem to be this pungentsmell//

 

//And I thought I caught sight of a giant bear or ape with something twined all around him//

 

The panther sneezed. //Shimatta! It smells like Oozaru cum!//

 

//See what I mean? The smell is getting stronger!// The tiger slowed down.

 

The black cat looked over his shoulder, pink tongue hanging out as he laughed. //Impossible. You must have been mista//

 

*SPLAT*

 

A horrified wailing howl broke the morning silence. Birds scattered. The large orange tiger rolled about on the floor laughing wildly.

 

-----

 

Part 2 Heavenly Milk

 

Ah Long!

 

Runga!

 

Two monstrous serpentine shapes twined around each other, supple bodies undulating sensually, glistening scales scraping with delightful friction, sounding just like nails on a blackboard.

 

Ive missed you so much, Porunga! Shenlong hissed as he rubbed his stubbly horns under the larger dragons chin.

 

As do I. Porunga pouted. The Kais are so mean; they only allow us to meet once a year.

 

The two immortal dragons whined and crooned as they complained about how much they missed each other, fervently renewing their vows of eternal love and faith.

 

Porunga squealed as Shenlong slid in. Their copulation was an awesome sight; two huge serpents writhing and slithering around each other in the cosmos. Shrieks and grunts were thankfully lost in the vacuum of space. Suddenly, they stiffened and jerked as both literally touched heaven.

 

Lord Enma planted meaty hands on his scattered paperwork with an irritated snarl. Bloody dragons. Theyre immortal, why do they even need to fuck?

 

The North Kai picked himself up, thankful that they do it only once a year.

 

Vegeta squinted up at the night sky. Is it just me or does the Milky Way look bigger tonight?

 

Goku beamed. Isnt it beautiful?

 

-----

 

Part 3 Vegetasei Milk

 

King Vegeta slammed his hand down loudly on the sturdy meeting table. This has got to stop!

 

Bardock growled. You cannot simply revoke a traditional right! The Commander-in-charge by day and Royal Consort by night slammed his fist down as well. The people will be furious!

 

The King glowered, and then stalked across to the large bay windows, his stalk spoilt by the squelching noises with each step. Have you idiots not realized the seriousness of the situation we have here?

 

Grunting, he attempted to open the windows but they were held fast by the same sticky white gobs that dripped from the ceiling and coalesced in thick puddles on the floor. Finally with a snarl, he blew the windows open with a burst of ki. Look outside! Look at the mess! Can you imagine the losses because of clean-up bills?

 

The tall monarch waved a hand wildly as he gestured to the scene outside. Another large gob dripped from the ceiling and onto his upswept hair. His face turned even redder as he roared in frustrated anger.

 

The same white, gooey substance was everywhere. The palace escaped most of the damage as it was built high on a hill but the city was a blobby mess. It coated the roofs and plastered the houses. Gobs frosted the trampled forest that like badly made icing. A pungent miasma hung in the air.

 

Gion nodded. He is right, your Majesty. Urges cannot be contained. The Seneschal mused thoughtfully. Perhaps we should compromise.

 

Bardock sighed and sank back into his seat. Yeah, take turns?

 

Suggestions were brought up, no matter how crazy.

 

Hire more cleaning crew!

 

Make each Saiyajin responsible for cleaning his own living area!

 

Encourage more oral-play!

 

Mix it into livestock feed!

 

Issue condoms!

 

Heads turned to Bardock, who flushed and sank back in his seat. A Chikuyyu invention. My youngest boy showed me when he came back from duty on Chikuyuu Haltingly, he explained.

 

The room erupted into laughter.

 

But the idea was eventually taken seriously; all ideas were taken seriously they were at the end of their tether, and top scientists were dispatched to look into the problem of condoms for Oozarus.

 

King Vegeta groaned as he lifted a cum-covered boot, tuning out the excited talk around him. If word got out

 

Oozarus were the proud trump-card of their fighting race, lauded and revered. Saiyajin themselves always loved a good romp by full-moon, but did anybody think about the morning after??

 

 

End

Thankfully.

 

 

Back to Oddities





visitor stats