Title: Espionage
Author: Kiarene
Pairings: 13 + 5
Rating: R
Summary: Wufei breaks into an Oz base. Trieze has sad pickup lines. Humor.
Published:
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they are not mine.
Feedback:
Craved.
Espionage
“Why do I—“
Duo cut
Wufei off in mid-rant with practiced ease. “We’ve been over it many times. It’s
a disguise.”
“But why do
I have to wear a *dress*?” Wufei stared down at his ‘disguise’ in outrage. The
other pilots stared at it appreciatively.
It was a
really nice cheongsam. The deep maroon silk shimmered and rippled interestingly
whenever he moved, and the rich color complemented his dark coloring well.
“Nobody
will be expecting a female,” Duo coaxed. “It’s the best disguise!”
“But why do
*I* have to wear the dress?” Wufei asked plaintively.
“Because
you’re our best close combat fighter,” Trowa stated bluntly.
Wufei eyed
the other pilots with deep suspicion. Something was wrong somewhere, he knew.
He just didn’t know what or where. His eyes dropped to his outfit again. “And
why does it have to be so …tight? And the slit!”
The Chinese
pilot twisted around as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, trying to
see if the slit was too revealing. The cheongsam was sleeveless and hugged his
torso tightly — up and down and over the fake padded bra — until his hips,
where the slit was. The slit ran up the right side of the slinky dress, all the
way to his hip, where a frog button knot capped the apex. He was completely
unaware that such a posture made his chest and butt stick out appealingly,
emphasizing and exaggerating the dip of his lower back and camber of his hips
as he twisted and wriggled. The other pilots were *very* aware.
“You do
want to be able to execute your high kicks, don’t you?” Heero asked with a
deadpan expression, the first to recover. “Maybe we should have gotten a
cheongsam with two slits for easier movement?”
“Uh, no…”
Wufei shook his head hurriedly.
“So can you move easily in it?” Quatre asked,
thinking that came out more suggestive than what he meant.
Wufei took
a step back and after a deep breath, snapped his right leg straight up in a
high kick. The others inhaled simultaneously as well when they caught a flash
of a silky black fabric when the skirt flipped up.
“Movement’s
ok.” Wufei put his leg back down, utterly clueless. “Are you sure I can’t wear
my pants under this? I mean, it’s perfectly all right for women to wear pants
under a cheongsam…”
“No!”
Everyone insisted. Their eyes ran down the long, long slit. Wufei has fantastic
creamy skin, bare and smooth. Like most Asians, he had almost non-existent body
hair.
“Let’s go.
We don’t have much time left. The next guard shift is in an hour,” Duo said
hurriedly, before Wufei changed his mind.
~
Treize
waited impatiently, suspiciously. A piece of plain white paper sat on the desk
in front of him, a simple typed message on the surface. It stated that there
will be an attack, and even stated the date and time of the attack. But not
just any attack. It will be an infiltration mission by one of the Gundam
pilots, and only *that* pilot.
Treize
frowned. Normally, he would have placed all his guards on high alert, certain
that it was a trap. But it was *him*… Treize wasn’t sure how anyone knew of his
fascination with that pilot, but….
Oh! It’s
time!
Trieze
leaned forward, almost bumping his nose on the monitor, eyes widening in
shocked delight. A lithe figure
sauntered up to the gate, the delicious sway of hips entrancing not only the
guard at the gate but also the stunned general at the security monitor.
Gods! That
dress!
Trieze’s
breathing quickened. Some infiltration mission — he would *know* pilot 05
anywhere. He may be dressed as a woman, but he still strode like a man. Rather
than looking crude and out of place, it gave a certain *sexy* attitude; one
that was emphasized by the calf-high soft boots — Trieze tried to imagine
high-heeled boots, the kind with lot of buckles, and groaned — and the generous
flash of skin as the slit in the Chinese dress gaped. The silky black hair was
now caught up in a high ponytail, a little tendril escaping to curl down one
cheek.
‘She’ spoke
with the guard, producing a pass, and had apparently been expecting entry. The
guard wasn’t convinced and a brief argument ensued. Trieze wished there was
audio. The gate guard sounded the alarm and another two guards ran up, but
‘she’ dispatched them easily.
When the
figure gave a high kick, Trieze gave a low moan. He was so, so glad his
security cameras were of the highest quality, and very importantly, they had a
recording function. And zoom. And multiple cameras.
Trieze
wiped the drool from his chin.
That slit!
That sinful, heavenly, simple parting of material. Trieze’s pupils were dilated
with lust. It flashed and enticed teasingly, revealing and yet concealing. He
wondered what that boy was wearing under the dress — surely it was too tight
for boxers, and briefs would spoil the line of the dress…
Trieze
stared *very* hard at the rear view of the pilot 05 as he slipped into the
base. Even through the monitors, annoyance fairly *radiated* from the darkly
scowling boy as he stalked through the corridors, the cameras following his path.
One hand occasionally patted his hip as if he expected to find his sword.
Trieze thought it adorable. His dragon had *no* espionage skills at *all*.
Trieze had
no idea what the boy pilot was looking for. He seemed to be taking the scenic
route all around the Oz base, well, scenic for the appreciative general at
least. Every time the Chinese boy came to a large important-looking door, he
would stop. Trieze also just realized how deplorable the security locks on his
base were. But the boy obviously didn't find what he was looking for because he
would emerge from the room after a while, swearing sulfurously.
Obviously,
he had not been briefed thoroughly as well. Trieze snickered.
A few
times, the Chinese pilot was almost caught, but he was too quick and nimble.
Once, he had a really close shave, but at the last second, he leapt up to the
ceiling just before the guard rounded the corner. Nimbly, the boy clung to the
corner of the ceiling literally by his fingertips as the guard passed below
him, tawny limbs splayed akimbo to brace himself, muscles taut and quivering.
Trieze
swallowed, eyes bulging.
There was
another of his tiny security cameras in the opposing corner. His dragon was
really very, very clueless.
Trieze
really didn't know why the delicious boy was carrying out his mission in that
kind of dress, but he certainly wasn't complaining. He sighed dreamily.
Then, he
realized that the corridor the boy was currently sneaking along was just
outside his personal quarters. Grinning like a shark, he hurried to his
attached bathroom. A quick check of perfect teeth and hair, a spritz of cologne,
and he was ready for his dragon.
~
Wufei
cursed softly as he turned around yet another corner. The base was *huge*! He
was absolutely sure that the other pilots — or the doctors — had supplied
faulty information. He knew he was in the correct wing but he simply couldn’t
find the room Duo described. Too embarrassed to call Duo to check, he simply
broke into every room that has a fancy door. He *had* thought that there
couldn’t be too many higher officials.
He stopped
in front of this latest door. It was the fanciest one he has seen yet,
literally. The stout rosewood door looked old-fashioned and out of place amidst
the concrete and metal of the base. The polished brass handle gleamed warmly in
the light, and beautifully carved roses bordered the door. Wufei grinned. Maybe
this was the room Duo mentioned. It certainly was unusual. He looked around but
there didn’t appear to be any electronic pad. How was the door locked? Surely…
He twisted
the handle and gaped when the door simply opened. Tsking in disapproval at the
lax security, Wufei crept into the room.
Wall scones
cast honeyed light around the room, which was done up in shades of ivory and
red and gold. The thick-pile carpet, heavy window drapes and tapestries muffled
any sound and made the room seem very quiet and removed from the bustle of the
base. A heavy desk stood in the middle of the room, and bookcases lined the
walls. This must be a study; there were a couple of doors that probably led to
the bedroom. Soft classical music played in the background and for a horrible
moment, Wufei wondered if the occupant of the room was in.
Then he
rationalized that even if she was — this sort of girly room *had* to belong to
some lady, probably some general’s wife — he shouldn’t have any problems
handling her. That’s probably another reason for his current disguise as well.
Someone
gave a polite cough behind him. Someone very male.
Wufei gave
a mortifying squeak of surprise. Whirling around, his eyes widened at the tall
figure standing behind the door. Trapped! Then the figure took a step forward
and when the light fell clearly across his features, Wufei gaped in horror. Discovered!
Trieze
Khushrenada! Damn and damn! Of all the bedrooms to stumble into…
Mind
racing, Wufei tried to salvage the situation. The general had only seen him but
once. Maybe he could bluff his way out. He ducked his head, letting some
strands of hair fall to further hide his face, and tried to look lost.
“Oh dear,
I’m so sorry. I must have entered the wrong room by mistake, it wasn’t locked
you see.” Wufei tried to keep his voice high but it only came out breathy and
husky, and damn, he was aware he was *babbling* nervously.
~
Trieze was
momentarily stumped, and then a knowing smirk tugged at his lips. Oh, so his
dragon wants to role-play! How deliciously wicked!
Briefly, he
considered. His dragon was obviously going for a demure, blushing virgin role;
should he be a gentleman or a rake? He eyed the Chinese-styled dress that covered
from neck to ankles and yet was slit all the way up to the hip.
He gave his
most rakish smile, purring. “Oh, that’s quite all right.”
The boy
sidled towards the door. “I really must be going…”
“Oh no,
please stay a while.” Trieze shut the door firmly. “I mean, it’s surely a sign
that you entered my room by mistake. We were meant to meet!”
The boy’s
head shot up, eyes wide with alarm. “Uh…”
“What’s
your name, my dragon…nette,” Trieze caught himself at the last moment,
remembering that the role-play.
~
“Wufei...”
Wufei slapped a hand over his mouth. Shit! The automatic, honest response slipped
out before he could think. He had been so unnerved by the general’s behavior
that he was actually stunned. *Why* was that madman calling him his
dragonette??
“Wufei,”
Trieze purred scarily, rolling his name around in his mouth and caressing the
last syllable and Wufei gave an involuntary shudder. That crazy general was
molesting his name!
“You have a
lovely name.” The tall man gave a courtly bow. “My name is Trieze Khushrenada.”
“Pleased to
meet you.” Wufei’s eyes darted from side to side as he searched for an escape
route. He inched backwards.
“The
pleasure is all mine.” Trieze inched forwards. “So Wufei, tell me more about
yourself. What is a beautiful lady like you doing in a base like this?”
Mad.
Definitely bonkers. Wufei thought fast as he inched backwards faster. “Oh,
well, I’m the new Chinese ambassador.” That should afford him some
ambassadorial rights, whatever they are.
“And you’re
here to improve relations with my country?” A suggestive wriggle of those
forked eyebrows.
“Yes…”
Wufei then realized he fell *right* into that one.
“I would *love*
to improve relations with you.” Trieze was advancing on him with a decidedly
predatory gleam in his eyes.
Wufei
panicked. And *tripped* backwards, right onto the sofa that appeared behind
him. Damn sofa!
~
Trieze
prided himself on his iron self-control, he really did. But when Wufei fell
back seductively over his sofa, landing on his butt with a cute ‘oof’ and
tangled skirt; *that* was beyond the limit of any mortal man.
He pounced.
“Wait!
Stop!” Wufei gave a little squeal of alarm, squirming most enticingly. Trieze
kissed that pretty mouth. No makeup, and that was even better because while he
hated the gunk women put on their faces. Wufei was more than pretty enough, anyway.
And he
tasted so good; he tasted of boy and fresh innocence, of sunshine and of the mint
chocolate ice-cream he clearly had before he came for the mission.
The door
banged open. Startled, Trieze fell off the sofa.
~
The four
pilots crowded around the hand-held screen, which showed the general’s bedroom.
“Wow. Um.
Like, should we go in and save Wufei or something?” Quatre asked, blue eyes
wide. They watched as Trieze not-so-subtly chased Wufei around the room and
cringed at his very lame pick-up lines.
“Nah.”
Duo’s features danced with mirth. “Told ya T-chan has a *major* crush on ‘Fei.”
“Um.”
“Very.”
“Poor
Wufei.”
They shared
a collective shudder.
When Wufei
fell onto the sofa, Heero spoke up. “We better go save him.”
“Aw…” Duo
was clearly having too much fun.
“Yeah. Come
on, mission’s over.” Trowa said firmly.
~
Trieze
sniffed sadly. The other pilots *had* to ruin his time with his dragon. He poured
himself a glass of burgundy and walked back to his desk. When he noticed the
folded piece of paper, his heart rate quickened. It couldn’t be…
He sat down
and unfolded the paper with trembling, eager hands. An ecstatic smile broke
over his face. Oh, his dragon would be back in three weeks! He sighed
blissfully. And he now knew his beloved dragon’s name.
After a
while, he carefully kept the paper in his drawer and switched on his monitor.
Until then, he’ll always have his videotapes.
End