Title: Painted
Crates
Author: Kiarene
Pairings: 5x13, 1x2, 3x4
Rating: G
Summary: Quatre pays Duo a visit.
Set after Autumn Coffee. AU.
Published:
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
Painted
Crates
I looked at
the unit number again, just to check that yes, this was Duo’s apartment. I
pressed the doorbell and it… clanked. Flatly. Like a huge rusty bell that had
something broken off.
Hm, yes.
Definitely Duo’s apartment. He always had a quirky sense of humor.
While
waiting, I glanced idly around me. L2 was Duo’s sort of place, a dizzying
juxtaposition of pre-war buildings and new, chipping concrete and gleaming
glass. Air-cars zoomed overhead and the train — the Mass Transport Device, they
call it — rumbled past. At first glance, L2 looked dingy and smelled overripe.
Electrical wires were exposed and taped to the sides of buildings; machinery
was old and occasionally patched together with a shiny new replacement and neon
tape; everything looked hacked together.
But
underneath the pollution-stained façade and graffiti, there was a vibrant
heartbeat. The colony throbbed with barely contained energy, like a kid high on
sugar before Christmas. Movement, every action, was rapid, frenzied even, and
there always seem something going on — people talking, laughing arguing, a
clatter of plates from the neighbor unit, a cat yowling. Techno music, if one
can call that music, acid, blues, trance; all provided the background cacophony
to L2.
I’d only
been here for an hour and already I feel that my senses have overloaded. After
a while, I press the doorbell again. And again. I found the unique doorbell
cute.
“Hold ya
horses…” I heard some grumbling, and then silence. I smiled sweetly into the
peephole.
There were
the sounds of some deadbolts sliding back and then the whine of a field winding
down. When the electronic lock beeped, I raised my brows in surprise.
“So
paranoid?” I teased when the large door finally swung open; I noted that it was
solid metal. The kind you would get for a bomb shelter.
“Eh, once a
Gundam pilot….” Duo gave me a brilliant grin. “And this is L2. ‘nuff said.”
“Ah.” I
dipped my head in greeting. “Hello, Duo.”
“Why so
formal, Quat?” I gasped as I was caught up in a crushing hug. For a small-sized
guy, he was certainly strong. Smirking, for I was almost a head taller than
him, I squeezed him back.
“Quat! Ah!
I give up… Uncle!!”
“No, it’s
….*Who’s your daddy*,” I growled playfully, squeezing harder and bouncing him a
bit.
“Ooo… never
knew oof.. you were into such games….”
We finally
released each other, laughing helplessly. Duo wiped his eyes. “Gods Quat, it’s
good to see you again. You’re looking good.”
I studied
Duo. “You, too.”
A blatant
lie, from him and from me. Duo looked thin, weary. There was a fading bruise on
one cheek. He hadn’t changed all that much since the war; he wasn’t much taller
and he still wore the black priest-like outfit he favored. His long hair was
still done up in a fat plait, a gorgeous tumble of gold and cinnamon silk that
was distinctively Duo. But old eyes belied that still impish face, and his
smile was a little too forced, a little too tight.
“No,
actually, you don’t look good.” I grinned to show that I meant no offense but
somehow, I couldn’t really find the strength to lift my lips beyond a wan
smile. At Duo’s startled look, I chuckled weakly. “And I’m no better myself.”
Duo smiled
again, the emotion more genuine this time. “There was always no fooling you,
Quat. Your empathy really gives you an unfair advantage.” He waved me in. “Come
in, try to look for a seat somewhere.”
I followed
him. This, too, hadn’t changed from the war. This careful, tacit acknowledgment
and avoidance of… the acceptance. I could find no better term to describe it;
it was not about the bruises or abuse. It was about understanding… and
forgiving.
I’d always
given in to Trowa. Why? I guess, simply because I can, and Trowa can’t. In that
sense, I am stronger than Trowa.
“Oh no, I
hardly use my ‘space heart’ these days.” I shook my head. Duo pushed some
papers and electronic components from the large oval table that stood
centerpiece in his small apartment into an empty crate. Various electronic
gadgets lay scattered on the table, their innards exposed; testament that Duo
retained the geeky curiosity and genius I remembered from the war.
I pulled up
a wooden chair. The chairs, I noticed, were all mismatched but they were padded
and comfortable. Duo’s apartment was not large, but it was inviting with sturdy
furniture and personal touches everywhere, like cheery rugs and painted
upturned crates as tables and comics tucked under the cushions of the sofa. The
walls were painted a somewhat faded yellow, but the posters pinned up
brightened the place. It had Duo’s personality all over it and it occurred to
me to wonder if Duo was still with Heero. I can’t see Heero’s belongings
anywhere, but then again, he had always been spartan.
“Huh?” Duo,
with one last kick to the crate so that it slid under the table, looked up,
clearly interested at my last comment.
“Actually,
I trained myself to turn it off during the war. I had to, or I would have gone
mad,” I stated simply. “After a while, it became more and more of a habit not
to use it. I don’t really like using it; it felt… invasive.” I shrugged.
“Huh.” Duo
gave a nod. “So, what brings you down here?” He stood up, pushing his chair
back. “And, can I get you anything to drink? I’ve beer, juice, soda, tea,
coffee…”
I gave a
laugh. “Oh. Well, coffee please.”
Duo shot me
a curious look as he crossed the room. The kitchen was simply a small area,
delineated by a short L-shaped counter, fridge and sink.
“In a way,
coffee was what led to this visit.” Despite what I said earlier, I now switched
on my ‘space heart’. It still felt like an invasion of privacy, but I thought
this was important enough. “I was in
Duo started
visibly and the mug he was holding came down onto the kitchen counter harder
than he intended. “…Wufei?” His voice, and feelings, wavered with worry, anger,
and most obviously, shame and guilt.
“Yes,” I
replied softly.
For a long
while, Duo remained still. But underneath, I could feel that his emotions were
all awhirl. Then, he started moving again, grinding the coffee beans and
starting the espresso maker. When he spoke, his voice was steady, even though
he was anything but. “So, how is he?”
“Happy.
Very happy,” I smiled. I told him about what Wufei and Trieze were doing, and
about our conversation. Duo listened silently, the simple tasks of making the
coffee soothing in that it gave him something to *do*. I could tell he was
clearly disturbed but he kept quiet until I finished.
Walking
over, he placed my mug in front of me, and sat down in the chair opposite me.
He cradled his mug, looking down into the dark brown liquid. “That’s great.” He
nodded, as if to confirm his previous statement. “That’s really great. I’m very
happy for Wufei.”
I knew he
was genuinely happy for Wufei; Duo was not spiteful or petty. Black shame
engulfed him, and I ask gently, “But?”
Duo looked
up at me, eyes anguished. “Quat, do you… I mean, you knew we were wrong back
then. I knew what you did for him back then. You never hurt him, never shunned
him. But I—“
“I did hurt
him,” I interrupted sadly. “My inactions were just as damning. I know how you
feel; I feel just as ashamed.”
“No!” Duo
shook his head wildly. “Don’t you see? I was his *best* friend! Some friend!
I’m despicable!” He made a sound that was a half-wail, half sob. It was as if
the dam of emotions inside him broke and it was now rushing out in a torrent of
tumbling words.
“The worst
thing was, deep down inside, I *knew* we were wrong. But I was too angry to
listen, too stupid to stop. Too scared of Heero. And… oh god… toward the end of
the war, after months and Wufei still… still stood by what he said… I just
*knew* then but damn… ”
“Oh Duo…”
My ‘space heart’ was caught up in the maelstrom of Duo’s emotions and my own. I
vaguely registered warm tears running down my cheeks though Duo’s remained dry
even as he rambled on, a slight hysterical edge to his voice.
I let him.
There was nothing else I could do, and really, it was for the best. It was
cathartic. Duo had obviously not been thinking about Wufei since the war, but
once I had opened the floodgates, all the prior shame and guilt rose back up
like bile.
We talked
on, cried and recriminated and confessed. Oddly enough, Duo kept wanting to
hear more about Wufei’s and Trieze’s relationship; his eyes lit up in wonder
when I mentioned how loving they were and he savored every detail.
“It’s like
they deserve it, yanno?” Duo explained, embarrassed. “Karma. And it makes me
feel better too, like I don’t feel so guilty because I know Wufei’s happy now.
That despite what we did… well, you know. Does that make any sense?”
I nodded,
finishing the coffee. “You’re a generous man, Duo.”
Duo shook
his head in disbelief, but I didn’t press it. What I did wanted to ask though—
“Duo, would you… would you want to meet up with Wufei?”
Duo shook
his head again. His tone was vehement. “No, I can’t.”
“I’m sure
Wufei has forgiven you,” I said confidently.
“But I’ve
not forgiven myself,” he replied sadly, looking away. “He’s happy now; I don’t
want to spoil that for him.”
“Oh Duo,
you won’t. He’ll love to make up with you…”
“Quat…” Duo
said in a pained voice. “Quat, *please*. I can’t face him. Call it pride or
cowardice, but I just can’t.”
I huffed
and pushed my mug away. “Not now… but one day?”
Duo eyed me
warily. “Maybe.” His tone was final.
“Just… just
think about it Duo.” I smiled. “Trust me, it’s easier than you think. I speak
from personal experience.”
“Maybe.”
“You can
send him an email or something.”
“Quat.”
“Ok, ok.” I
held my hands up in mock surrender. “I know; I won’t push.”
“Thanks.”
Duo smiled. He stood up and gathered the cups. “Thank you for coming down too.”
“It was my
pleasure.” I smiled back warmly. Duo walked towards the kitchen.
“How long
are you staying?” He called over his shoulder as he rinsed the mugs.
I shrugged.
“A day, maybe two.”
“Good.” Duo
put away the mugs and patted his hands dry. He turned around with a broad grin.
“Come on, how about I show you around L2?”
“Sure.”
It occurred
to me later that I didn’t talk about the other reason for my visit — the
sensitive subject that we never really talk about actually — but no matter. I
promised myself, another time. For now, I just wanted to enjoy the company of a
dear, old friend.