2007 Bonaire Tournament Report by Mr. Chris

I know you haven’t heard from me in a while. But it’s because I was out of the country taking advantage of an opportunity to finally see a Female Celebrity Wrestling tournament in person. Yes, those goddam things actually take place! And in a way I can thank Kim and Ginny’s Celebrity Fight Board. No, not just “in a way.” It seems clear that but for my participation as a contributor to this Board, the opportunity would have never arisen.

The Tournament in question took place over four days at a secluded private resort on the Dutch Caribbean island of Bonaire. It was attended by approximately 250 of the world’s wealthiest ladies and gentlemen. How, you may well ask, did your humble reporter find himself among an assemblage of such grandees? I will tell you.

Shortly after I had begun posting stories on this Board, a particularly appreciative reader began making special requests of me. He would ask that I write celebrity fight stories featuring certain actresses or models or entertainers. Sometimes he would specify how he would want the story to turn out, and whom he would want to win. Other times he didn’t seem to care about the outcome as long as I included his favorite ladies. Usually he specified that a certain body part, or wrestling move, be incorporated into the action.

His first requests were publicly posted on this Board. And the stories I wrote for him were likewise logged here. But soon he began to privately e-mail to me his requests, and those stories only went to him. I knew no more about him personally than I know any of you. His writing marked him as one for whom English was not his birth-language. And he seemed to lack confidence in his ability to write in any language, because he once wrote, almost forlornly, that he himself was unable to write out the stories he fantasized in his mind. And he really longed to read them in print and preserve them for future reference. So he had to rely on someone like me.

Unfortunately, his demands on me intensified over time, rather like a drug addict who requires stiffer and stiffer doses to get high. Finally, I told him I was holding down a full-time job and could no longer spend as much time writing for him. If I continued at all it would have to be at a greatly reduced scale of activity.

At this point my secret admirer asked me how much I made a year at my job. I normally don’t like to share that information, but I wrote him back with the salary amount hoping that it would help him understand why I could not afford to be fired. He told me he would double my salary if I quit my job and instead exclusively wrote stories for him.

Well, I’ll admit it’s not the noblest profession. But here I am now, having quit my regular job and now subsisting on funds wired to my bank account from a bank in Indonesia. And I write to all hours of the night to sate his perpetual appetite. Actually, it becomes hard work after a while when you have to do it on deadline.

Then came the day that led me to the tournament in Bonaire. He had a ticket to the Tournament, but a sudden scheduling conflict prevented him from attending. As a gesture of gratitude for my service, he transferred the ticket to me, along with paying for my airfare and all travel expenses to attend the event. He noted that he would have to content himself with watching Hi-Def Blu-Ray recordings of the celebrity matches after the fact.

He gave me permission to write this account of the Tournament. We feel the legal risks are minimal, especially given the fact that 99.9% of the readers will figure this is a fictional account.

The Club Athena in Bonaire was of course, fabulous. It made places like the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, Florida, look like a Motel 6. The quality of food served was on a par with a Michelin 3-star restaurant, and in quantities that would make a cruise ship’s offerings seem paltry. Naturally only the finest wines and spirits were offered. First growth Bordeaux, Cote-de-Nuits Burgundy, and no cognac of less than XO class. But they catered to all tastes: you could get an ice-cold beer and bowl of pretzels if you wanted. The guestrooms were fit for a king: most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in with freshly-pressed cotton sheets put on each day. Each of our palatial suites was equipped with three strategically situated Sony Bravia 1080P HD LCD television sets. Perpetually refreshed buckets of Dom Perignon champagne on ice, and terry cloth robes and sandals and all the rest of the usual high-end amenities were there in the suite.

I make mention of some of these things in order to establish an advance apology. I’m afraid my viewings of many of the matches I saw were marred by either too much alcohol or by the discomfort of a next-day hangover or stomachache. It didn’t help all that much when I smoked a funny kind of cigarette that one of the bellboys slipped me – the tobacco goes by the local name of “ganja.” Oh well. Like my patron, I will have to see these fights again at some point on the Blu-Ray disc. But at least I did see every match in some kind of mental state or another, and I can tell you the results of each match and perhaps even a few details.

The Tournament rules were as follows:

20 women in the field;

Double-elimination format;

Matches time limit of 15 minutes;

Most pinfalls or submissions within the time limit wins.

Disqualifications allowed - mostly if someone does something like go outside the ring and pick up a garden tool and smash it into the head of an opponent. If so, the ‘victim’ credited with a pinfall.

So at this point you’re probably dying to know who was in the tournament. Here’s the line-up in alphabetical order - believe me it was all I could possibly have wished for, and then some:

Jessica Alba,

Tyra Banks,

Catherine Bell,

Monica Bellucci,

Jessica Biel,

Mariah Carey,

Nikki Cox,

Vida Guerra,

Katherine Heigl,

Katie Holmes,

Milla Jovovich,

Alyssa Milano,

Rhona Mitra,

Kelly Monaco,

Demi Moore,

Jaime Pressly,

Jeri Ryan,

Britney Spears,

Charlize Theron,

Catherine Zeta-Jones.

I guess this is the place where I should note that none of the 20 women actually went by their real names. And none of the famous names mentioned in the previous paragraph were ever uttered or put down in print. Instead they were each introduced with nicknames such as “The Punisher” or “The People’s Choice” or “The Bruiser” or “The Queen” – you know, that kind of thing. But the only disguise (if you can call it that) was that each of them wore very small satin eye-masks. These did such a laughably poor job of hiding the true identity of each of the wrestlerettes that it was obvious that the actresses, models and entertainers didn’t care that their wealthy audience knew who they were. It must have been some legal or contractual reason that they couldn’t use their real names. For purposes of this report making any sense, I will use their real names when referring to them.

So alright already, you’re thinking, let’s get on with it! OK, here goes.

Preliminary Round. Given the number of 20 contestants, there were four preliminary matches to get the winner’s bracket down to 16.

Prelim Match One: Jessica Alba vs. Demi Moore. This was a study in contrasts both in appearance and in fighting styles. The younger, lean and lithe Jessica specialized in martial arts moves. Her opponent was the ageless wonder: hard-bodied Demi Moore, who relied more on strength, power and a ruthless will to win. And win she did, moving on to the first round, and the defeated Jessica moving to the Loser’s Bracket.

Prelim Match Two: Vida Guerra vs. Kelly Monaco. When I first saw Vida enter the ring in her tiny bikini I think I said out loud, “Ay Caramba!” What a body! Not only that world-famous derriere, but the whole rest of it, that tanned figure glistening in the sunshine, like a ripe fruit bursting with sexual energy. I found myself cheering for Vida, hoping she’d stave off elimination for as long as possible so we could see as much of her as we could during the tournament. To be sure, the similarly bikini’d Kelly Monaco was no slouch in the looks department either, although at a weight of 95 pounds she was 20 pounds lighter than Vida – making it all the more likely I’d get my wish and Vida would advance.

Regrettably Kelly wound up winning. She was just too quick and feisty and hard to put down for Vida, and Kelly eventually wore her out and pinned her. Since I was working on my third pina colada by the end of the match, I had been uninhibitedly cheering myself hoarse for Vida. Kelly gave me a dirty look as she left the ring.

Prelim Match Three: Milla Jovovich vs. Rhona Mitra. Of course, Milla was only referred to as her Resident Evil character “Alice” and Rhona was introduced only as “Lara Croft.” I was real interested in this one since I had written a story where the two of them met and Rhona had won so I couldn’t wait to see what would happen in real life. Well truth follows fiction in this case, as Rhona won out – she just seemed so much bigger, stronger, and meaner than Milla.

Prelim Match Four: Charlize Theron vs. Nikki Cox. Most of us expected Charlize to win but such was not the case – the underrated Nikki has skill and strength and employs any dirty trick to win. The last pinfall she achieved by baring her huge breasts and using them to smother Charlize into a pleading submission.

At this point there was a two-hour break in the action. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I think a lot of the guys in the audience went back to change into new underwear and shorts, or swim trunks, as they got a little too excited during the first four matches and then finally the manner of Nikki’s triumph proved too much for them and their cup runneth over – if you get my drift.

When action resumed we were ready for the first full round in the Winner’s Bracket.

Match One: Demi Moore against, tall, solidly voluptuous, Monica Bellucci. Apparently Monica has made her reputation beating up the likes of lovely Europeans like Laetitia Casta and Sophie Marceau and various Italians. Unfortunately for Monica, the muscular Demi did not fit this profile and was the wrong opponent at the wrong time for the Italian beauty. Monica was simply unprepared for the strength of the smaller, older American actress, and found herself defeated and headed for the loser’s bracket.

Match Two: Mariah Carey against Catherine Zeta-Jones. I was among the few rooting for Catherine, but Mariah was too strong for her. I had too much of a buzz on to remember much of the details of the match.

Match Three: Kelly Monaco versus Jaime Pressly. Kelly gave me a baleful stare as she entered the ring. Hey, I have nothing against Kelly, but I’m a huge Jaime Pressly fan so I was cheering for her even more loudly than I cheered for Vida. I was certain the tough hellcat Jaime would brutally annihilate Kelly. Yet, when the match was over, incredibly to me there was Kelly with her hand being held aloft and Jaime on the mat in defeat. I guess Kelly had eaten her Wheaties that morning. As Kelly left she gave me a smug expression of contempt. I hope my wildly cheering for Jaime hadn’t had the unwanted effect of boosting Kelly’s morale. Maybe I’ll keep my mouth shut in Kelly’s next match.

Match Four: Tall model Tyra Banks against pop star Britney Spears. I gotta tell you, Britney looked absolutely smashing. What a bod! And did she ever sashay all over the place putting it on display. I’d love to see her wrestling in her scanties against the bikini’d Vida Guerra. Alas, I doubted she’d get past the bigger, well-regarded Tyra Banks. But to my surprise she bested the super-model, near the end tossing her around like a sack of potatoes. I’d forgotten how fit and just plain physically strong Britney Spears is.

Match Five: Rhona Mitra against Katherine Heigl. This was perhaps the most hard-fought match yet seen. They both beat the hell out of each other and could barely stand by the end. But it was the buxom blonde Katherine who got the win.

I remember few of the details of matches six and seven; all I know is Katie Holmes lost to Catherine Bell and Nikki Cox lost to Jessica Biel.

Match Eight: The last match of the day was worth the wait - the best match seen to date; Jeri Ryan against Alyssa Milano. This is another pairing that I’d written about fictionally (two encounters in my “International Tournament” series, with Alyssa winning the first time and Jeri the second.) So this real-life battle would be particularly intriguing for me. It was a wild, back and forth affair. I didn’t realize how strong Alyssa is, considering she’s not all that big. She was doing all kinds of lifting moves on the bigger Jeri. But the blonde (“The Borg Queen” this weekend) ultimately won 3 falls to none, her piledriver finisher being particularly devastating.

During dinner that night -- as I consumed a wonderful dish of beer-braised wild boar with hand cut parpadalle, rapini, kalamatas and shaved parmesan -- I asked one of the other spectators why these celebrity women would take time to participate in an affair of this sort. He said it was a combination of things, and each had different motives: for one thing, they all weren’t wealthy superstars and some did it for the cash prize-money, others just liked the thrill of competition, and some saw it as a natural extension of their exercise and workout regimen. Others were bisexuals or lesbians desirous of the body contact and domination aspects of this sport. There were also some personal feuds between various of the stars and this provided a good opportunity for payback. And some were just plain mean and never passed on an opportunity to beat the sh*t out of another pretty woman -- with no risk of getting thrown in jail.

The next morning began with the first matches of the Losers’ Bracket, and in double elimination, you lose these matches you’re out.

Match One: Monica Bellucci against Rhona Mitra. I am a big Monica fan and was worried that big, strong Rhona would cause Monica problems but Monica beat the tough Englishwoman, knocking her out of the Tournament.

Match Two: Jaime Pressly versus Jessica Alba. Poor Jessica. Jaime was furious that she’d lost the day before to Kelly Monaco. Jessica ran into a buzz-saw of fury. This was the most one-sided match yet seen in this Tournament and Jaime dominated from beginning to end. Here was the Jaime I know and love! Jessica (“The Dark Angel”) was out of the Tournament.

Match Three: Tyra Banks took on Milla Jovovich in a very odd match, probably the strangest of the whole tournament. Milla dominated the match throughout almost all of it, knocking Tyra from pillar to post at will. Milla took a one fall to none lead into the final minute of the match. Then, somehow or another, Tyra got two quick pins in that last minute to give her the win and send Milla packing. There was grumbling and booing that some kind of fix was in. Someone near me opined that the organizers wanted to make sure there was “racial balance” among the finalists and it was arranged with Milla and the ref that the Ukrainian take the fall and Tyra would win, but I don’t think that’s it at all. Milla just had a lapse in focus late in the game and so lost the match.

Matches Four and Five I’ll just mention in passing: Catherine Zeta-Jones beat Katie Holmes and Monica Bellucci beat Nikki Cox.

Match Six: Jaime Pressly took on Charlize Theron. Here was another “re-match” if you will from one of my “International Tournament” stories, wherein I had Jaime beating Charlize without a whole lot of difficulty. This real-life version of Charlize versus Jaime turned out to be pretty good. But there was controversy. The first 15-minute match ended in a scoreless tie, and in that match just as the clock was winding down Jaime had Charlize in a match-winning pin and the ref was about to bring his hand down for the “one” count when the bell rang ending the match. Jaime was furious that she’d been robbed of a win. They faced off for the rematch and this time Charlize got the better of her, winning two falls to none, and displaying some pretty nifty moves in the process.

Match Seven: Tyra Banks returned to the ring to take on mouth-watering Vida Guerra. Oh my God, is it possible that she looked even hotter today than yesterday? Sadly, my Vida-ogling days came to an end as Tyra beat her three falls to one.

Match Eight: I was looking forward to this match between “Welsh Witch” Catherine Zeta-Jones and mighty-mite Alyssa Milano - who’d given Jeri Ryan so much trouble. But it turned out disappointing in that Catherine won without difficulty, being pretty much in charge the whole match.

The action then switched back over to the Winner’s Bracket.

Match Nine: Demi Moore versus Mariah Carey. The first 15-minute match ended in a tie. Then they hooked up for the re-match. Somehow or another this one got away from Mariah early. The result was the most lopsided score seen to this point, Demi winning six pinfalls to none, pretty much pinning poor Mariah at will including a couple of submissions by abdominal stretch. Those abdominal stretches are exciting to watch when one woman basically uses her body to break the body of the other woman. Can anyone stop the ageless wonder Demi? It seems like the hard-body brunette is trampling underfoot all her opposition.

Match Ten: Kelly Monaco faced Britney Spears. Kelly must think I hate her, but I had to root for sexy Britney, especially with Vida now out of the tournament. And Britney came through for me, besting the feisty Kelly Monaco.

Match Eleven looked to be a real good one: Katherine Heigl versus Catherine Bell. What a bust! No, I’m not talking about the big boobs of either one; I mean the match was a bust. In an amazingly one-sided beat-down, the buxom blonde Katherine Heigl easily defeated a listless Catherine Bell, 3 falls to none.

Match Twelve, the last match of the day, pitted Jessica Biel against Jeri Ryan. This was a wild and crazy affair with lots of action and pinfalls and foul play. But ultimately Jessica’s superior strength and conditioning won out over Jeri’s experience and nastiness. Once Jessica got her momentum going she became a runaway train. She ended up winning 7-3, though three of Jessica’s seven falls were by way of Jeri Ryan disqualifications.

On that note we ended for the day. That night I dined on another delicious meal, the entrée being rack of lamb with spinach pine nut crust and minted pea sauce. The warm snifter of Remy-Martin Louis XIII cognac provided a fine finish to the feast.

The next morning we were back in the Losers’ Bracket.

Match One: Monica Bellucci took on Kelly Monaco. That Monica, who outweighs Kelly by exactly 50 pounds, would win seemed almost a foregone conclusion. So it was no surprise that she did in fact win. Monica dominated the match. What WAS a surprise is that Monica was only able to win by a one pinfall to none score. Several times Monica had Kelly pinned and somehow Kelly would miraculously kick out, she is what they call in baseball “a tough out.” Though Kelly Monaco was now out of the Tournament, I had developed a new level of respect for the “Fighting Flyweight.” Against celebs in her own weight-class I think she’d be unbeatable.

Match Two: Charlize Theron versus Catherine Bell. I’m not sure how much truth there is in any of Kim and Ginny’s musings about the relationship between these two, but there certainly seemed to be some extra electricity in the air as they faced off – Charlize in a bright red outfit and Catherine in an army camouflage color swimsuit. The match began with Catherine continuing the listlessness she displayed when Katherine Heigl wiped her out, the JAG star looking like a lobotomized somnambulist as Charlize subjected her to throws and holds and slams and punches galore. But near the end of the 15-minute match Catherine seemed finally to wake up, and near the end was able to tie it up, forcing a rematch. The rematch was much more even from the get-go, more competitive. And it too resulted in a tie! In the second rematch Charlize ran out of gas, Catherine Bell won 3 falls to 1 and was pretty much in charge for most of the match.

Match Three: The vagaries of the Tournament brackets resulted in the two “women of color” – Tyra Banks and Mariah Carey – facing off in the next match. Frankly, I remember little of this match except that Tyra won, one fall to none.

Match Four: I was really looking forward to the next match with two evenly-matched, classic celeb fighters: Catherine Zeta-Jones versus Jeri Ryan. It was a good match. In my opinion, Catherine outfought Jeri, but it was Jeri who managed to record one more pinfall than CZJ and so it was Jeri who moved on and Catherine was eliminated from the Tournament.

We then returned over to the Winners Bracket,

Match Five: Demi Moore would take on Britney Spears. Talk about a couple of hard bodies. These two got into kind of a mini-posedown before the match started. I think Britney has the stronger looking legs, but Demi stronger looking arms. Their abs appeared equal in hardness. I would’ve loved to have seen them engage in a belly-punching contest. The match was a really good one. It was a close, back and forth affair. And it was brutal; the two really battered each other and could barely stand when it was over. For a long time it was scoreless, then a turning point came near the end when Demi got Britney in an abdominal stretch. For a long time Britney resisted, but Demi would only crank up the pressure and finally Britney had to scream her submission. That seemed to crush a lot of Britney’s spirit -- after that Demi got one more fall a few minutes later and won the match 2-0.

Match Six: Two rising young stars, Katherine Heigl vs. Jessica Biel: They clashed and at the end of the 15-minutes, they were tied 1-1. So they fought a rematch. I still don’t know how it happened, but Jessica ended up wiping up the floor with Katherine. As with her win over Jeri Ryan, Jessica notched seven pinfalls – and none of these were through DQ’s of Katherine. Not a single fall went Katherine’s way as she lost 7-0. Sometimes for someone like Katherine in a situation like this things just start going downhill and you can’t stop it. But still, Jessica is undoubtedly a strong and formidable opponent. And coming up next for her will be Demi Moore.

The action now switched over to the Losers’ Bracket.

Match Seven: Monica Bellucci against Catherine Bell. This one turned into a surprisingly one-sided runaway, with Catherine destroying Monica 7 falls to none (one of her falls by way of a Disqualification charged to a frustrated Monica Bellucci). The normally intelligent Monica made a fateful, bad decision early on – she tried to outbox Catherine Bell. Now to be sure Monica possesses a powerful haymaker that can knock a person down with a single blow, but Catherine is faster, more nimble on her feet, able to absorb punishment with a jaw of stone, and just a much better boxer. Period. Part of it too is that a cut was opened up on Monica’s forehead fairly early in this match that caused her to have vision problems through much of the match as Catherine just pounded away mercilessly on her. The mighty Monica Bellucci was thus eliminated from the tournament.

Match Eight: Tyra Banks against Jeri Ryan. The busty blonde didn’t have too much trouble in this one, cruising to a 3-0 pinfall victory in a match she pretty much controlled from the outset.

After a two-hour break, Losers Bracket action resumed.

Match Nine: Catherine Bell took on Britney Spears. It’s hard to believe this is the same Catherine that was sleepwalking through a beatdown at the hands of Katherine Heigl just a day or two before. The tall, big-breasted brunette was now on a roll, and beat Britney 4-0 (two falls coming from DQ’s charged to Britney). Brit’s out of the tourney!

Match Ten: Jeri Ryan versus Katherine Heigl. These were now the last two blondes left in the running, so the winner would have the privilege of carrying forth the banner of blonde-power in a solitary quest against the various brunettes who remained in the running. It was a pleasure to watch these two buxom blonde beauties go at each other. As it turned out, the younger Katherine got the better of her older rival this day, getting past Jeri with a two pinfalls to none score.

That was it for Day 3. We broke for dinner, where I chose as an entrée the grilled ostrich tournedos on a red cabbage and blueberry jam, with pepper sauce, washed down with a 1982 Chateau Pichon-Baron.

The next morning

Match One: Catherine Bell facing Katherine Heigl. These two ladies were very evenly matched, and both grappled for advantage, but as time went on neither could score a pinfall. Finally the younger Katherine was able to wear down Cat and pin her for a 1-0 victory.

Match Two: the big match to determine who would come out on top in the Winner’s Bracket,

Match Three: the much anticipated match-up of Demi Moore versus Jessica Biel. Jessica had scored 14 pinfalls in her last two matches (11 if you exclude the three DQs of Jeri Ryan) and Demi had scored 8 pins in her last two – both were on a roll. Many pins were expected therefore in this match. But that’s not the way it turned out. It was a tight struggle all the way, back and forth. Demi at one point was finally able to pin Jess’s shoulders to the mat for a three-count. The match went on. Just as the final seconds were winding down Jessica had Demi on the mat in what was certainly a three-count pinfall position to tie the match, but the clock ran out before the ref could make the count. Thus Demi Moore won the Winner’s Bracket and sat back to see who would emerge as the winner of the Loser’s Bracket: it would be either Katherine Heigl or Jessica Biel.

Match Four: After a two hour break, Katherine Heigl and Jessica Biel squared off for their match, the winner to face Demi for the Championship. This was a reprise of their earlier match in the tournament, in which Jessica humiliated Katherine with a 7-0 pinfall romp to victory. Katherine was determined to restore her reputation.

Heigl-Biel turned out to be a great match. Both really gave it their all. It was scoreless until a turning point came when Katherine got Jessica in a combined waist scissors-sleeper hold. Jessica, sort of forced into a position of lying back on top of Katherine, with the blonde’s strong legs around her waist and a sleeperhold around her neck, struggled mightily to escape but finally had to croak out her submission. Even though there was still four or five minutes left in the match at that point, for the proud Jessica Biel to have to say “I give” appears to have crushed her spirit. Katherine went on to score one more fall by submission, this a simple sleeperhold on its own, to win 2-0. Jessica appeared to be crying as she left the ring, head hung low. To her credit Katherine tried to comfort her.

There was another two-hour break before the Final to determine the Tournament Champion.

Katherine Heigl would have her work cut out for her because it was a double-elimination tournament and Demi Moore was still undefeated at that point, Heigl would have to beat Demi TWICE in a row in order to win the tournament – a tall order.

What a battle it turned out to be! Neither could get the advantage of the other. Finally, late in the match, Katherine was able to maneuver Demi across her shoulders and submitted her to a torture rack backbreaker hold – after holding out as long as she could Demi was finally forced to scream “I give!!” That turned out to be the only pinfall of the match, and Katherine won 1-0.

So both now had one loss on their record, and the rematch would decide the Champion of the entire tournament - after a half-hour break between matches.

Then brunette hard-body Demi and the buxom blonde Katherine were back in the ring. They went at each other hammer and tongs. Demi was growing increasingly frustrated with her inability to gain an advantage. Katherine, sensing this, began to mock Demi. The taller blonde with her longer reach began to jab at Demi’s face and dance away out of reach. Demi flew into a rage, charged and threw Katherine face-first into the ropes, and then pushed her head down onto the top rope, choking her. The ref called for a rope break. Demi ignored it as she continued to push down in a near maniacal state and Katherine turned more and more red-faced as she was being choked out. The referee shouted at Demi to stop, and in fury Demi turned around and slugged the ref in the jaw, decking him to the mat. Katherine was able to escape at that point, and Demi earned herself a big fat DQ to put Katherine ahead 1-0.

That disqualification turned out to be the deciding margin, as neither was ever able to force the other into a pin or submission during the remainder of the match. Katherine had won the match 1-0, and the tournament! Because she won via the DQ, it was a bit of a let-down not to know who would have really won if they were to have a rematch free of the disqualification, just determining who was the better in the ring. But that’s the way it happened, what can you do. I was glad it was the beautiful, buxom blonde that won, she deserved it. And she looked great as she posed with her victory belt.

And so that’s my story, boys and girls. As the guests broke up to head home, I was asked by a number of them if they’d see me again at the next tournament. I said it was unlikely that I’d be able to return. The Club Manager overheard me and said they could always use a few extra hands around at Tournament time - and he could use a good, reliable bartender if I was interested in helping out during the next one. Care to guess how long it took me to make a decision?