The Maxim Challenge by Interac

David Letterman, Craig Kilbourne and Maxim Magazine called a press conference with a big announcement.

David, “Thank you for the Press. Of course you know at the band Mr. Paul Schaeffer. Well folks, on one of my shows recently Rachel Stevens and Jessica Simpson got into a bit of a altercation that ended with Jessica performing her hit song naked. Now, thanks to Craig and his friends at Maxim, we will end all statements.”

Craig smiling, “Thanks Dave, well as you all know the Ultra Sexy and former Maxim Cover girl Jennifer Love-her-tits Hewitt, jumped in and took on Rachel, and then destroyed Rachel’s friend Jo. After negotiations, we’ve come up with something to help everyone out.”

Maxim Editor stepping to the mike, “A four corner Tag Team Match. The fourth will be Alyssa Milano who recently embarrassed Jennifer. Let us call out all the ladies now. First, Rachel Stevens, second, Alyssa Milano, third, Jessica Simpson and last but certainly not least, Jennifer Love Hewitt.”

David leering, “The deal is you can tell us your tag team partner and then we tell them who they have to fight one-on-one before the tag team fight even happens.”

Jennifer, puffing out her chest, “Well, since this is sponsored by Maxim. I pick who they think the hottest woman around is, a friend of mine, Susan Ward.”

Susan Ward walks out, and a lot of men holler at the top of their lungs while Craig just pants and says, “Hi Susan. I love your outfit. Would you like to know who YOU’RE going to be fighting? Well it’s Helena Bonham Carter.”

Susan had a shocked look on her face but she struggled to act cool and confident as David looks at Stevens and says, “Rachel it’s your turn. Who’s your partner?”

Rachel smiles, “I pick someone from my home country, ‘The Mummy Returns’ star.... Rachel Weisz!”

Rachel comes out as Susan Ward stands up and the two get face to face. Two of the sexiest stars right now, looking daggers into each other waiting for the other to blink. They get closer and closer until their breasts touch, then they go in a little bit further, each trying to make the other back down but neither will. Finally, they’re separated but they don’t take their eyes off each other.

Craig takes a deep breath, “Folks, let me tell you this right now. A while back I booked Rachel on my show, but Susan called and said she wanted to be on the show. Well, it seems we couldn’t have both, but Rachel never showed! It turns out, Susan locked her in her dressing room when she got out of there, so that’s what she said happened. She ran out to the parking lot and the two had a little scuffle that security had to break up. Apparently, this’s the first time they’ve seen each other since.”

David asked, “Mrs. Weisz, just so you know and don’t beat me up, you’re facing Izabella Miko!” Quickly, Rachel Weisz nods as she and Rachel Stevens put their heads together and start to whisper.

Alyssa Milano stood up, “Well I guess you all know I was in a ‘Poison Ivy’ movie.”

All the men started hooting and hollering as Jennifer takes, the mike, “Didn’t you play a slut in that?. Wow I bet that was a real stretch for you”

Alyssa sniffs, “Oh Jennifer! Whatever did you do with that golf club I left with you? Anyway my partner was also in the ‘Poison Ivy’ movie, Jamie Pressly.”

Jamie Pressly came out waved to all and hugged Alyssa before she sat down. David merely rolled his eyes and chuckled, “Wow, there’s a good dream. That’s some ‘Poison Ivy’ I’d love to roll in. Jaime you’re gonna fight Brittany Daniel!”

Craig looks around and, “Jessica it’s your turn, you cute virgin, you.”

Jessica with an embarrassed smile, “Well my partner’s also in Maxim magazine; Izabella Scorupco.”

All the ladies mouths drop from shock. Especially when the former bond babe walks out. She and Susan had a problem at a recent Maxim Party, and she’s had problems with Rachel Weisz for years. Izabella sits down flips her blonde hair out of her eyes and looks at Dave, “Well, who am I fighting”

He mumbles, “Sorry, um, you’re fighting....uhhhh. Wow, a battle of Bond Babes - it’s Teri Hatcher! Well now that all that’s out of the way, we can’t wait for the epic battles to take place - and of course make bets.”

As all the ladies got up, Jennifer started toward Alyssa who laughed when Rachel pushed Jennifer from behind. She turned around while Jessica went up behind Rachel and grabbed her by the hair. Jennifer started taking cheap shots at Rachel then Alyssa jumped Jennifer and the two went tumbling over the table.

Rachel sent her foot back and hit Jessica between the legs, threw Jessica down on the table and started slapping her face over and over again until Izabella grabbed hold of her. Jessica rolled off the table and pulled Alyssa off of Jennifer, then dove on Jennifer herself and started punching Jen in the face

“It’s all your fault,” she screamed. “I had to be naked because of you!”

Jamie and Alyssa just watched at all that was happening and stepped back as Jennifer reached up and pulled down Jessica’s shirt baring her breasts again. Jessica got off of Jennifer and tried to hide her body but Jennifer kicked her in the ass as she was trying to get away

“Oh, what’s the matter, little virgin, don’t want us to see those little boobies again,” Jennifer taunted.

Alyssa stuck up for Jessica and hauled Jennifer away by the hair. Jennifer surprised Alyssa when she spun around and punched her square in the jaw knocking her down but when Jennifer tried to jump on top of Alyssa Jamie came running in.

Security was holding all the ladies apart and Craig Kilbourne was covering Jessica with his coat as she cried. Rachel was let go by Izabella when Dave bravely got between them.

Izabella snarled, “I never got to have my fun. Where’s that bitch Susan.”

Rachel Stevens, “I know, where’s Weisz?”

The two women were just outside the room circling around each other taking off their jewelry

Rachel Weisz complains, “You know, I didn’t appreciate being locked in that room with no A\C and the heat on full blast.”

Susan, “Well I guess, they shouldn’t of had the box for that outside the room. I thought you’d have liked it, getting all hot and bothered. You were with your favorite sex partner - your fingers.”

Rachel, “My favorite sex partner is whoever I please. I can have any man, I had yours last night!”

Susan, her face getting red, “That’d explain why he came home so unsatisfied and a bored expession.”

Rachel, “Must’ve seen that look whenever he watches one of your movies. The In Crowd - and out of theaters, just as fast.”

“If we get into this now, you know someone can come out and break it up,” Susan said as she got into Rachel’s face but Rachel didn’t backing down as she stepped up and again the two were breast bumping again.

“Well what do you suggest?” Rachel asked as she stepped in more, the two evenly shaped bodies colliding looking for supremacy. Rachel slightly pushed Susan back, her nipples protruding from the sheer cloth on the shirt.

“Well I think we shouldn’t do anything physical. But then again, What’s to stop us?” Susan said as she stepped in, pushing Rachel back.

“Yes, if it happens it happens you end up beaten before the big fight,” Rachel sneered as she tried to push forward but Susan was holding her ground as sweat come from both women’s heaving chests.

“If I put you in the hospital, what would your poor little S Club party girl do?” Susan taunted as she tried to push forward.

But Rachel held her ground, both women’s eyes closed now, no more talking. They were trying to make the other move back. Neither would move and after minutes of this Susan pushed Rachel back but Rachel got the step back. Then Rachel felt her hair being pulled back as she pushed Susan another step. Susan had grabbed Rachel’s hair and started hauling her backwards. Still having full breast pressure. Rachel responded by getting a hold of Susan’s hair and their breast’s completely mashed against each other’s neither giving in, going back and forth.

All of a sudden Craig Kilbourne showed up just when Susan was finally pushing Rachel back. Rachel was grunting trying to retaliate but Susan was winning when in one quick move, Rachel twisted Susan around and slammed her against the wall. She leaned as far as she could, applying all the pressure she could muster. Susan screamed but she turned Rachel around on the wall so now it was Susan winning the breast war. Rachel turned Susan again, but Susan quickly turned Rachel around which was when Craig finally went in to break it up.

The two women toppled over and fell, both trying to get the top position. Craig stepped in and separated them as they both were breathing heavily now that they were separated. Both women’s shirts were stretched and their cleavage was very visible.

“There’s one more thing you two should know,” Craig said

“What’s that?” they both replied.

Just then, out of the door came Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rachel Stevens and Alyssa Milano. All three were brawling as they’d gotten through the guards. All of a sudden Izabella Miko and Jaime Pressly came out rolling out with each other’s hair in hands. Jaime had gotten the best of it and was atop Izabella bouncing on her chest when Jessica pulled her off and then went over and jumped Alyssa from behind, pinning her against the wall.

Jennifer went over to help Jessica but Rachel Stevens turned her around, and before you knew it, the two of them stood there trading punches, neither one stepping back. Continuing where there other battles left off.

“Everyone stop NOW!” Craig screamed.

Jennifer landed the last punch sending Rachel Stevens down. Stevens got back up and knocked Jennifer down and then before anything could happen they were separated. Some people pulled Jessica away from Alyssa, and Izabella, who got the advantage on Jaime after Jess’s help, was pried away with some of Jaime’s hair in her clutches. All of the women with the exception of Rachel Weisz and Susan Ward were being held back. After all, no one other than Craig watched their battle.

“Okay listen, there was one more announcement. For all of the fights, I’m the referee,” he said.

Rachel Weisz took her eyes off of Susan and protested, “WHAT?”

All of a sudden Susan took advantage, grabbed The Mummy star’s arm, spun her around and knocked her out with a single haymaker. Rachel dropped on the ground knocked out cold and Susan stood over her with a big smile as security raced in to make sure nothing else happened.

“He said, I’m going to kick your ass all over again and he’ll be there to see it. Come on Jennifer, were out of here.”

Jennifer left when Susan said that and she tried to get another shot in at either Stevens or Reid but couldn’t get past her guards. Rachel Stevens went over to check on Rachel Weisz who was just getting back up.

Weisz moaned, “Damn bitch cheap-shotted me. Which way did she go?”

Stevens put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Everyone’s gone now. It won’t....”

Izabella Scorupco had sneaked back in and she nailed Rachel Stevens, then picked Rachel Weisz up by the hair, threw her against the wall and started letting her have it - hitting her over and over. Rachel blocked one punch, then moved forward and the two crashed to the floor with Rachel on top. Rachel looked down and started to rain down punches on Scorupco who finally hair-hauled Rachel off her. Both got up just as security came back in and kept them away from each other.

Craig Kilbourne was making sure everyone left, and he looked at Dave Letterman and grinned, “I can’t wait til they’re allowed to fight each other legally!”