BACKGROUND: The Showtime suits were furious that HBO had beaten them to the punch and created a special program just for actress catfights. After HBO's programming coup, Showtime saw a very noticeable drop in some groups of their viewers, particularly in the young adult male demographic area. The executives were nervous about these developments and started the ball rolling on this deal with CNN, to get ahead of HBO once again. For their part, CNN loved the idea too. They decided that if they could time the tournament finale properly, it would generate huge demand for their 2003 Swimsuit issue, and possibly build excitement for a 2003 tournament as well.
The groups of executives brainstormed about the fight idea to prime the pump and get people watching, and get people interested in the new SI swimsuit issue. The group of executives had pages and pages of reports about demographics, viewing habits, time slots, sport event viewing, and purchasing of sports magazines. They had a whole range of statistics about their own products and those of their competitors. After long hours of deliberation, the plan was set to broadcast a couple fight events every Saturday night over a several month period.
All the executives in the room knew that they had to offer some good incentives and prizes to get these gorgeous supermodels to agree to participate in the competitive fight events that they had planned, let alone the nothing barred catfights that were planned to end the tournament. They decided upon a $1 million prize to the winner, along with six model contracts for Showtime and various products. Second place would get $500 thousand and three contracts. Third and Fourth place would both get $100 thousand and one contract. They all thought that these prizes would be sufficient to get the gorgeous ladies that they wanted to sign up. They got a huge response, and were able to pick and chose the ladies to participate.
After a few meetings to set up the plans, a lineup for the tournament was chosen. Once the lineup was set, all the ladies involved received notification. The ladies were divided into four teams, based on year. They decided that the Captain for each team should be the cover girl for that year. The four team Captains had a couple meetings together, and some with the other Captain's and the executives. Of course, they also had numerous meetings with their whole team, to discuss their strategy.
The team Captains for the fights came together at the HBO offices. The Showtime people wanted to get the schedule laid out for the group of fights. To keep things interesting, it was decided to randomly select the type of match for each round of fighting. The types of matches picked were nipple twisting, breast smashing, test of strength, arm wrestling, stomach punching, shin kicking, wedgie fights, leg wrestling, tit squeezing, crotch claws, strip matches, bearhug battles, face slapping, and hair pulling contests. After an initial coin toss to determine who went first, the teams alternated between initially naming a girl to fight and responding with a competitor. After a couple hours, all three round of fights were set.
One of the executives also made a suggestion that referees would be needed for the contests, as well as for the actual fights, to maintain order as to make sure that the girls followed the rules. They all agreed that they should hire a group of referees for the fights. They were also in agreement that the referees should be able to stop the fight. After all, none of the executives wanted to see these beauties get seriously hurt. However, they also agreed that the ability of the referee to interfere in or direct the fight would be seriously limited, so that the girls could rip into each other. They all pondered whom they should hire as the referees. After a couple phone calls, it was agreed that the referees would be Playboy Playmates.
Within a few hours, ads had started to run on Showtime to announce the start of the tournament, and the first group of fights.
While the executives at Showtime and CNN had the entire tournament lineup for the set, they only released bits and pieces of the first round to the public in their ad campaign, but they knew the big picture. The fights would be broadcast every Saturday evening, with two groups of fights each Saturday for the first, second and third rounds. They decided they'd re-evaluate how to broadcast the fights after that, once they knew how the ladies and teams fell into place after the third round
They thought they should get a good announcer but in the end they settled for Jessica Alba who was both unemployed and attractive. Then they hired four referees; well known Playmates but also good fighters who were strong, able to enforce the rules if necessary and who wouldn't be pushed around. They were:
The executives at Showtime Television and CNN/Sports Illustrated got together for a very secret, closed-door meeting. They were working the final details in a multi-million dollar deal to have the SI swimsuit girls completing in a series of competitive contests, ending with no rules catfights on a new special edition of their Saturday night fight program.
OPENING NIGHT
The huge view screen above the arena lit up and showed lovely actress Jessica Alba standing there in a very expensive and equally stunning slinky black dress and stiletto heels. She spoke into her microphone and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm honored to welcome you all to the first ever Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Girl Fight Tournament. I'm Jessica Alba, and I will be the hostess and announcer for the tournament. The tournament is sponsored by Showtime Television, where the fights are broadcast, and also by CNN - Sports Illustrated. Their gorgeous Swimsuit Issue models will be fighting for your enjoyment - and a great deal of money.
"The first part of the Tournament will have the models from the last four years competing in a Round Robin tournament to determine the years top models. After that, the top girls from all years will compete in the individual tournament to crown our first, Sports Illustrated / Showtime, Swimsuit Queen," the luscious brunette continued after a momentary pause. Jessica went on, "The team breakdowns for the three rounds of the round robin competition are as follows:
"In each round," Jessica explained as she pointed at the large display. "The ladies from each team will compete in the seven contests mentioned. Winning four of seven fights in a particular type of contest earns the team one point. When we conclude all seven events in each of the three rounds, the two teams with the most points will face off in nine more contests scored the same way. Whichever team has the most points at that end of that round will be the winning team."
"Now let's get started with the fights," Jessica concluded with a bright smile!
The large view screen faded to darkness and the entire arena went black for a few moments. In the darkness, a single spotlight floated around and settled on a lone figure standing in the middle of the spacious bedroom arena. It was Jessica Alba, and stood there in that same little black dress and stiletto heels that she had on, on the view screen.
Jessica held the microphone and said, "The first group of fights in this first round of the tournament will feature breast fights. The matches tonight will be the first round competitors; the 1999s versus the 2002s and the 2000s versus the 2001s." Jessica waved her arm behind her as she said, "This spacious living room arena will be the setting for all the fights in this part of the tournament." After a brief pause, she continued, "These fights are breast smashing contests in which the ladies are locked tightly together as they smash their luscious breasts into their adversary's. The fight continues until one can't take the pain and either gives up or breaks off the action twice. Each is allowed to break off the action once without penalty, but a second breakaway is considered a submission. The referee's duty is to watch for submissions and/or breakaways as well as to make sure neither is trying to gain an unfair advantage with holds or positions. The ladies are allowed to have their hands locked around her opponent's waist to give leverage to her breast smashing movements but they're not allowed to pull hair, grab breasts or attack any other part of her opponents body." With the rules out of the way, Jessica introduced the referee, "Now, let's hear a big round of for tonight's referee; a Playboy Playmate of the Year...Karen McDougal!"
Jessica turned and pointed toward the door as Karen stepped out in a sexy little black and white striped bikini, the crowd hollered and cheered for the luscious Playmate, in her very sexy referee outfit. Karen smiled and waved as she moved beside Jessica.
List of Matches and Team Lineup for Each Event:
RD 1, PT 1: 1999-2002 - Breast Smashing
Eva Herzigova vs. Shakara Ledard
Laetitia Casta vs. Molly Sims
Sarah O'Hare vs. Isabeli Fontana
Tamara Spoelder vs. Petra Nemcova
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 2: 2000-2001 - Breast Smashing
Carrie Otis vs. Amy Wesson
Rachel Roberts vs. Josie Maran
Kristy Hinze vs. Melissa Keller
Lujan Fernandez vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 3: 1999-2002 - Test of Strength
Heidi Klum vs. Shakara Ledard
Laetitia Casta vs. Ana Barros
Eva Herzigova vs. Isabeli Fontana
Chandra North vs. Molly Sims
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 4: 2000-2001 - Test of Strength
Kristy Hinze vs. Michelle Behennah
Kylie Bax vs. Fernanda Tavares
Carrie Otis vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Lujan Fernandez vs. Amy Wesson
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 5: 1999-2002 - Shin Kicking
Sarah O'Hare vs. Audrey Quock
Laetitia Casta vs. Molly Sims
Tamara Spoelder vs. Ana Barros
Heidi Klum vs. Petra Nemcova
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD , PT 6: 2000-2001 - Shin Kicking
Rachel Roberts vs. Fernanda Tavares
Veronica Varekova vs. Melissa Keller
Kylie Bax vs. Josie Maran
Lujan Fernandez vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 7: 1999-2002 - Leg Wrestling
Eva Herzigova vs. Shakara Ledard
Laetitia Casta vs. Molly Sims
Sarah O'Hare vs. Isabeli Fontana
Tamara Spoelder vs. Petra Nemcova
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 8: 2000-2001 - Leg Wrestling
Carrie Otis vs. Amy Wesson
Rachel Roberts vs. Josie Maran
Kristy Hinze vs. Melissa Keller
Lujan Fernandez vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 9: 1999-2002 - Crotch Claw
Heidi Klum vs. Shakara Ledard
Laetitia Casta vs. Ana Barros
Eva Herzigova vs. Isabeli Fontana
Chandra North vs. Molly Sims
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 10: 2000-2001 - Crotch Claw
Kristy Hinze vs. Michelle Behennah
Kylie Bax vs. Fernanda Tavares
Carrie Otis vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Lujan Fernandez vs. Amy Wesson
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 11: 1999-2002 - Bearhugs
Sarah O'Hare vs. Audrey Quock
Laetitia Casta vs. Molly Sims
Tamara Spoelder vs. Ana Barros
Heidi Klum vs. Petra Nemcova
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 12: 2000-2001 - Bearhugs
Rachel Roberts vs. Fernanda Tavares
Veronica Varekova vs. Melissa Keller
Kylie Bax vs. Josie Maran
Lujan Fernandez vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez
RD 1, PT 13: 1999-2002 - Hair pulling
Eva Herzigova vs. Shakara Ledard
Laetitia Casta vs. Molly Sims
Sarah O'Hare vs. Isabeli Fontana
Tamara Spoelder vs. Petra Nemcova
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos vs. Yamila Diaz
RD 1, PT 14: 2000-2001 - Hair Pulling
Carrie Otis vs. Amy Wesson
Rachel Roberts vs. Josie Maran
Kristy Hinze vs. Melissa Keller
Lujan Fernandez vs. Vanessa Lorenzo
Daniela Pestova vs. Elsa Benitez